CYBERHOLIC

Blogging and Design since 1999

For the last fucking weeks i have been greeted on YouTube by spots that make me go mad! Treehouse! There is this black guy saying that "within weeks i learned to programm my own app". Then there is this foreign looking girl with her fucking 3 children who also learned the same shit as the dude before. They are now self-employed thanks to the internets. Yeah and thanks to treehouse. Fuck you treehouse. Why? Well, to those two wanna-be motherfucks that you use as representative testimonials to show that even foreign ppl can make their way out of hell, from home, with their computers, by learning stuff within a couple of weeks whilst others needed years for that. Hey treehouse, why only those foreign looking ones? Looks like white ppl learned to jump or what? I fucking hate those stigmas like Walmart once had that toy shit where white children drove the ferrari and black people were presented in prisoner clothes or whatever.
Holy shit how i hate this "the internets saved my ordinary life!" shit. Yeah, tech nowadays is faster, better easier. I remembered how i had to set up my fucking soundblaster card with the jumpers set up right otherwise my dump pc would suggest that the soundcard was not a soundcard but a fucking printer. Usually you have these effects whenever you throw a pill or press hard whilst you dumb a brick, but neither would i ever call me a programmer nor a designer. I am a scriptkid. Way more worse than those two motherfuckers mentioned before. Gosh, how i fucking hate this. Why? Well, because you are the fucking pricks that force me to explain to clients why the website they want costs more than 50 bucks. Fuck how i hate this shit. It's like going to a prostitute and you don't pay for what you want, but for HOW GOOD YOU WANT IT. And no, i have never been to a prostitute, and my statement to that bitch and her three brawls: i had no sexual relationship with that woman. holy crap.
Published in Blog
Tuesday, 12 January 2016 21:43

Scheiss.Drecks.Eltern.

Leider lässt sich nur schwer nachvollziehen ob die Bildunterschriften tatsächlich das wiedergeben was die abgebildeten Kinder sagen, aber wenn man einmal eine Doku über amerikaniche Kinder Catwalk Shows gesehen hat, weiss man wie das Gefühl ist den Eltern so gerne mal kräftig links rechts und dann wieder rechts links oder auch mal leicht diagonal die Fresse zu polieren. Schlimm daran ist das es eine Hand voll Erfolgserlebnisse gibt. Brit Spears is so eine. Von Kind auf hindressiert zum geil gucken, schön aussehen, nicht viel wiegen und tra la la. Das Resultat kennen wir alle. Schlimm sowas. Sehr schlimm.


Published in Blog
Wednesday, 06 January 2016 16:26

Warnung. Erdrutsche. Yeah!

Da geht man einfach mal an das andere Ende des Touristen-Zoos spazieren und plötzlich erhebt sich vor einem ein Erlebnispark. Genauer genommen, eine Erdrutsche. Ich bin keineswegs perfekt und bei all den unterbezahlten Jobs die ich realisiere um den Kunden zu erklären warum 5 Euro die Stunde für einen IT-Support nicht wirklich viel ist; bei alle dem ärgert es mich dann noch mehr wenn ich sehe wie schlampig mit den Übersetzungen gearbeitet wird. Das kann sogar Google Translate besser, aber die werden ja nicht gefragt!
Published in Blog
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Portfolio

Download my PDF portfolio in a low density quality by clicking the button below.

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Stickers & Qrofties

I produce and sell stickers and so called "Qrofties" (transparent paper prints at the size of a business card) for IKEA mashups, bookmarkers, scrapbooking and much more.
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QR Paintings

For half a decade i have been painting QR codes out there on the street and on canvas in acrilic.
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MR. ROBOT Wallpaper Generator

For the MR. Robot TV series i created an online wallpaper generator that allows you to create your own fanart wallpaper at 1920x1080pixels in Full HD for your computer desktop.
CREATE A WALLPAPER

La Despedida

A roadmovie in form of a documentary that i produced in 2010, about a journey on an italian three-wheeler through Europe to find out how hard it is nowadays to say "Goodbye". The full movie is available online.
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My Nathan Hunt game

For the first time ever, Google Streetview is used as content for a textadventure (also known as interactive fiction) game. I developed and published the first chapter in summer 2015, that can be playe online and for free.
PLAY THE GAME

Soundcloud love

  • Gorillaz - Ascension (Feat. Vince Staples) (Nic Fanciulli Remix)
     

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Titanic Zufalls Fachmann

  • Stehendes Recht.
    Ich vertrete die Ansicht, daß eine Pflicht, die man anderen gegenüber nur widerwillig erfüllt, eigenmächtig durch ein Recht kompensiert werden darf: Seit ich in unserer WG im Sitzen pinkeln muß, kacke ich daher im Stehen.Thorsten Mausehund

remember the .GIF

As DJ Qroft i programmed a script in HTML and JS that selects randomly one out of thousands of GIF animations and creates a music video based upon these animations.
VISIT WWW.REMEMBERTHEGIF.COM